What about all the missing response cards?

My daughter is getting married next month and quite a few response cards have not come back. We still have a few days left to get the responses, so we will wait until that date has come. However what do we do, I have heard from a few verbablly that told me they cound not come, and my husband did call his friend to find out, but meanwhile they along with some others have not sent back the card that was already equipt with the stamp! So what do we do now, call, email, what is the proper thing for us to do.

What about all the missing response cards?
I think some people think it's okay to call and ask if people are coming or not. I know that when I have gotten calls it only makes me feel pressured into going, like I really can't say no now. I am going to assume that everyone is coming and plan to feed them anyway even if they don't RSVP. I know it's a hassle, but I just don't want to pressure people into coming. After all, why send out invitations if all you were going to do was call and ask anyway? I think if they are very close friends/family it might be okay, but as for the rest, just assume they are coming.





Tough..I know.
Reply:think it's a lot of nerve not to answer. feeling pressured to come after a call, if you did not want to go just say no. I don't care if these people don't come, think I am owed common courtesy of sending back the stamped car. I am not setting a meal for them! They don't deserve it! Report Abuse

Reply:A phone call is appropriate. I recently got married and most of the time, people who forgot to respond were apologetic and forgot that they hadn't responded. Nobody will think badly of you for making a quick call. Of course, its all about how you phrase it. Don't say, "You didn't RSVP, are you coming?" Say, "Hi! We wanted to see if you and your husband were going to make it to our wedding? We'd love for you to come!"
Reply:Many people take it to mean that they only need to return the card if they are coming. I would assume anyone who hasn't responded isn't coming.
Reply:Yea, people are real jerks. You have to personally call each one and say that you are writing yes or no at that moment and then they can't change their minds. Sometimes people just forget, sometimes people can't decide.





(It is ridiculous that people can't respond when there is a stamp on a pre-addressed envelope!)
Reply:You Willl have to call every guest. If you cannot find out for sure you wil have to assume they will come and have a seat for them. Have the banquet manager set up a small table for those who show. It's good to have a few extra seats anyway in case of uninvited guests. It's not proper but you would be surprised how many think nothing of bringing along a friend.
Reply:Leave a few days after the rsvp date. Don't email, because then you are stuck once again waiting for a response. Just phone. Yes, it's so rude that people don't rsvp...
Reply:Give the people a phone call. I know things get lost in the "to do" pile a lot. A phone call is usually the best for me!
Reply:start calling - man people are inconsiderate!
Reply:I would call to make sure they got the letter . Mail gets lost all the time. Either that or they could have put it aside and forgot to mail.


Just give a courtesy call and be like hey ****, it's ****, havent heard back from you yet just wanted to make sure you got the wedding invite.


That way you will know that they got it and you can cross them off if they arent coming.
Reply:It happens all the time. You send envelopes, postage and everything, and they still don't respond. Call them if you want, if it is really important to you to have a concrete number. Some people mean to reply, but forget to... and some are waiting to make sure they can have that day off. It is not a problem and not rude to call. I would just chat a while and say, "by the way, the plans for the wedding are going so well..." and that should open up the conversation for them to say if they can come or not. I hope you find out, but people are notoriously apathetic about sending in even postage-paid responses.
Reply:Call them. Be polite about it, tell them you need a response so you can get a final head count. If you call them, then they can't avoid the answer. If you email them, then they have the chance, once again, to delay the final answer.
Reply:After the date has passed, give the slackers a call (or send an e-mail). Just something casual, though. Don't make people feel like their on the spot. My favorite is to just say, "I've heard that some of the invitations got lost in the mail. I just wanted to make sure you got yours." That should jog their memories and they'll tell you if their coming. If they got the invite but still don't answer, prod gently. "Oh good! Do you know if you'll be able to make it? We need to give the caterer a head count."
Reply:After the day has passed call everyone the next day and ask them will they be attending . One phone call should be it though.
Reply:No matter how easy you make it, there are always people who don't respond to formal invitations. The ones who have responded verbally or over the phone have already given you an answer, so you don't need to do anything but check which answer they gave.





As for the ones who haven't responded either verbally or through the mail, divide the list up between a few people and get calling and/or emailing. Use whatever method is most likely to get a response from the individual. Just let them know you don't seem to have their response yet and you need to know so you can give the final count to the caterer.





If you speak to them directly, then they have to say something. You'll get an answer, and that's the goal.





It's also perfectly proper to ask for an answer. After all, if you don't know they're coming, how can you plan to feed them?
Reply:I would give the individuals a call. They may have just forget or maybe still don't know if they can come. Everyone should followup with the guest they invited.
Reply:What a pain in the butt. Whatever happened to good manners? The only way to know for sure is to call them or email them....I'm sorry but if you dont do that will will be wondering and stressing about it right up to the event and it will spoil your enjoyment of the day.


Why are people so flakey?
Reply:I had an 800 number for people to call and a lot didn't call at all! So, I had to call these people and almost all the people that I called said "well, yes I'm coming, I just thought you'de know!" Can you believe it! AND one of my bridesmaids (who's not married by the way) said I was a bridzilla for calling! So, yes call, people can be so inconsiderate when it comes to rsvp's!
Reply:Technically, if they did not respond, they do not have any right to attend or expect to attend. You should be able to get your final head count by the RSVP date.





That said, if you want to confirm, call the people that have not responded. Be polite, but make it clear that their lack of response is disrespectful and that you are not pleased to have to track them down. OR... send the non-respondants simple postcards indicating your sorrow that they have not responded and that you will not be able to accomodate them if they change their minds. Petty, I know, but having planned a couple weddings, I also know how this can muck things up..